Rambling post about divorce

config/files/index.js

@@ -3,6 +3,9 @@ export default function(eleventyConfig) {
 		eleventyConfig.ignores.add("src/posts/drafts/*");
 	}
 
+	eleventyConfig.ignores.add("src/.obsidian");
+	eleventyConfig.ignores.add("src/_templates");
+
 	eleventyConfig.addPassthroughCopy("src/assets");
 	eleventyConfig.addPassthroughCopy("src/robots.txt");
 	eleventyConfig.setDataDeepMerge(true);

src/.obsidian/app.json

@@ -0,0 +1 @@
+{}

src/.obsidian/appearance.json

@@ -0,0 +1 @@
+{}

src/.obsidian/core-plugins.json

@@ -0,0 +1,30 @@
+{
+  "file-explorer": true,
+  "global-search": true,
+  "switcher": true,
+  "graph": true,
+  "backlink": true,
+  "canvas": true,
+  "outgoing-link": true,
+  "tag-pane": true,
+  "properties": false,
+  "page-preview": true,
+  "daily-notes": true,
+  "templates": true,
+  "note-composer": true,
+  "command-palette": true,
+  "slash-command": false,
+  "editor-status": true,
+  "bookmarks": true,
+  "markdown-importer": false,
+  "zk-prefixer": false,
+  "random-note": false,
+  "outline": true,
+  "word-count": true,
+  "slides": false,
+  "audio-recorder": false,
+  "workspaces": false,
+  "file-recovery": true,
+  "publish": false,
+  "sync": false
+}

src/.obsidian/templates.json

@@ -0,0 +1,4 @@
+{
+  "folder": "_templates",
+  "dateFormat": "YYYY-MM-DDTHH:mm:ssZ"
+}

src/.obsidian/workspace.json

@@ -0,0 +1,173 @@
+{
+  "main": {
+    "id": "01da651322e77bc9",
+    "type": "split",
+    "children": [
+      {
+        "id": "6fbde22c49cb0b40",
+        "type": "tabs",
+        "children": [
+          {
+            "id": "fcdd717f684acba9",
+            "type": "leaf",
+            "state": {
+              "type": "markdown",
+              "state": {
+                "file": "blog/posts/2025/2/All things must end.md",
+                "mode": "source",
+                "source": false
+              },
+              "icon": "lucide-file",
+              "title": "All things must end"
+            }
+          }
+        ]
+      }
+    ],
+    "direction": "vertical"
+  },
+  "left": {
+    "id": "e03e96f7ff367a41",
+    "type": "split",
+    "children": [
+      {
+        "id": "118a6275af4aff50",
+        "type": "tabs",
+        "children": [
+          {
+            "id": "51fac1b08a2afe93",
+            "type": "leaf",
+            "state": {
+              "type": "file-explorer",
+              "state": {
+                "sortOrder": "alphabetical"
+              },
+              "icon": "lucide-folder-closed",
+              "title": "Files"
+            }
+          },
+          {
+            "id": "04d8928e50518a47",
+            "type": "leaf",
+            "state": {
+              "type": "search",
+              "state": {
+                "query": "",
+                "matchingCase": false,
+                "explainSearch": false,
+                "collapseAll": false,
+                "extraContext": false,
+                "sortOrder": "alphabetical"
+              },
+              "icon": "lucide-search",
+              "title": "Search"
+            }
+          },
+          {
+            "id": "c7283ac0ef3a2e71",
+            "type": "leaf",
+            "state": {
+              "type": "bookmarks",
+              "state": {},
+              "icon": "lucide-bookmark",
+              "title": "Bookmarks"
+            }
+          }
+        ]
+      }
+    ],
+    "direction": "horizontal",
+    "width": 300
+  },
+  "right": {
+    "id": "d1c16c382d0d728e",
+    "type": "split",
+    "children": [
+      {
+        "id": "a20f205e2e3ad9af",
+        "type": "tabs",
+        "children": [
+          {
+            "id": "a6b712bb19d0db98",
+            "type": "leaf",
+            "state": {
+              "type": "backlink",
+              "state": {
+                "collapseAll": false,
+                "extraContext": false,
+                "sortOrder": "alphabetical",
+                "showSearch": false,
+                "searchQuery": "",
+                "backlinkCollapsed": false,
+                "unlinkedCollapsed": true
+              },
+              "icon": "links-coming-in",
+              "title": "Backlinks"
+            }
+          },
+          {
+            "id": "11b15a0d19c921cb",
+            "type": "leaf",
+            "state": {
+              "type": "outgoing-link",
+              "state": {
+                "linksCollapsed": false,
+                "unlinkedCollapsed": true
+              },
+              "icon": "links-going-out",
+              "title": "Outgoing links"
+            }
+          },
+          {
+            "id": "88283444b842a03f",
+            "type": "leaf",
+            "state": {
+              "type": "tag",
+              "state": {
+                "sortOrder": "frequency",
+                "useHierarchy": true
+              },
+              "icon": "lucide-tags",
+              "title": "Tags"
+            }
+          },
+          {
+            "id": "02101e7a8ed9e056",
+            "type": "leaf",
+            "state": {
+              "type": "outline",
+              "state": {},
+              "icon": "lucide-list",
+              "title": "Outline"
+            }
+          }
+        ]
+      }
+    ],
+    "direction": "horizontal",
+    "width": 300,
+    "collapsed": true
+  },
+  "left-ribbon": {
+    "hiddenItems": {
+      "switcher:Open quick switcher": false,
+      "graph:Open graph view": false,
+      "canvas:Create new canvas": false,
+      "daily-notes:Open today's daily note": false,
+      "templates:Insert template": false,
+      "command-palette:Open command palette": false
+    }
+  },
+  "active": "fcdd717f684acba9",
+  "lastOpenFiles": [
+    "_templates/Blog post.md",
+    "blog/posts/2025/2/All things must end.md",
+    "blog/posts/2025/2",
+    "blog/posts/2025",
+    "blog/posts/2024/12/some-things-i-learned-from-building-my-first-webcomponents.md",
+    "blog/posts/2024/12/2024-year-review.md",
+    "blog/posts/2014/7/clever-image-resizing-in-python.md",
+    "_templates",
+    "links.md"
+  ]
+}

src/_templates/Blog post.md

@@ -0,0 +1,6 @@
+---
+date: "{{date}}"
+tags: 
+title: "{{title}}"
+excerpt:
+---

src/blog/posts/2025/2/All things must end.md

@@ -0,0 +1,26 @@
+---
+date: 2025-02-03T12:41:50+00:00
+tags:
+  - personal
+title: All things must end
+excerpt: An incoherent ramble about the last couple of months
+---
+>[!warning]
+>This post is going to be an incoherent ramble about what's been going on with me for the last couple of months. I've written & re-written this post half a dozen times and I don't think there's a way to write this that I'm happy with, but I also need to.
+
+_____
+
+
+Over Christmas, my wife and I decided to end our marriage after 13 years together. It wasn't an easy decision to come to, but it needed to happen. Neither of us were happy, and I don't think we had been for quite some time.
+
+It's a confusing thing to go through. On one hand, I feel like a weight has been lifted. The months leading up to this have been tense, and sad, and upsetting. I hated knowing that she was unhappy, and that I was the reason for that; it wasn't fair, she deserves more. 
+
+On the other hand... fuck. What now? I have no idea how to navigate this. To spend well over a decade _certain_ that you'd found the person you were going to spend the rest of your life with, only to then watch it fall apart and be completely unable to do anything about it is just devastating. I find myself going through a complete rollercoaster of emotion, and it's taking almost everything I've got just to keep the seatbelt on.
+
+There's also logistical issues with the separation; rents are extortionate, even in the "cheaper" area we live in, so right now there's nowhere for either of us to move out to. We've got a child together, so making sure that everything is stable and safe for her is our priority. I don't really know how we're going to manage it, but we'll have to find a way.
+
+I know from this post it sounds like I'm attributing most of the blame on myself here, and I probably don't deserve to. There was no major inciting incident, just two people slowly drifting apart who didn't really realise it until it was too late.
+
+The only silver lining to all this is how my (ex, I guess) wife has handled things. She's been incredibly emotionally mature about everything, has been exceptionally communicative, and is just... trying. We're both on the same page about how we want to move forward with regards to co-parenting, and where we both fit in each others' lives, which is a blessing. There's no tension in the house day-to-day, we aren't arguing, we're just trying to figure it out.
+
+Anyway, this post is what I'm doing instead of paying for therapy. I'm okay, mostly, and where I'm not okay I know I will be eventually.